Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
