I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
