I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
