In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
