My room smells like vodka and shame
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The air taste purple.
Randomize
