what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
