just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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