Sry I called you an 8
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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