you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
