Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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