After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
A bitchslap is in order.
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