Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
