He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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