He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
