Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
