after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
