grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
