dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
