You work out of a Hotel?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
