"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
