sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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