just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
