There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
