I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
