Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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