this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
