butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
