I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
