Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
