I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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