Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
