How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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