I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
