Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
