Where did you get a picture of my penis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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