There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
