I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
