Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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