I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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