I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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