i think my mom watched the whole time
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
