Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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