I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
