worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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