So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
