CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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