he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
accomplished twins. life is a go
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
