We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
