Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
