I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
