I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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