I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
