dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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