i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Even my vagina gasped.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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