This is not my ceiling
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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